choosing life

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Posts by choosing life

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  216

  No One Should Be Made to Choose…..LIES from July 09 Awake

  by Hopscotch in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  the following quote is taken from the article is it wrong to change your religion?

  in the july 2009 awake p29:

  no one should be forced to worship in a way that he finds unacceptable or be made to choose between his beliefs and his family.

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  choosing life

  I think they may say that ex-jws are free to leave the religion, therefore not forced to believe. On the other hand, those relatives in good standing as jws are also free to limit their association with those that "choose to leave Jehovah".

  It's always worth a try to show someone the hypocrisy of the religion, but most won't until something in their life softens them up a bit, allowing them the freedom to question.

  I can't see them loosening up their rules on shunning as it is way too important to preserve the cult.
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  34

  New member introduction

  by deemoo in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i'm new to the forum and couldn't find a place for new members to introduce themselves... so here i am, starting a new topic!(bold!).

  i started studying with the jws a few months ago.

  we're now on chap.

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  choosing life

  Hi, deemoo. I guess you realize that you are being love-bombed right now by the jws. Not that there aren't nice, lovely people who are jws. There are, but they make it a congregational effort to recruit new members. If you don't "progress" in becoming a witness, the love will cool off.

  How I would have loved to have this forum to visit when I studied with them! All the good, honest questions I could have asked.

  Good luck with your study of religions. cl
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  87

  Black Families & Shunning

  by snowbird in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  after reading password's blog on freeminds, and following the thread about the 7/09 awake, i am saddened to hear the experiences of so many who have been shunned by their families.. i confess that when i first started reading at this site - 8 years ago - i couldn't believe what i was seeing.

  i knew that df'd persons were to be excluded from any spiritual interaction, but i'd never personally witnessed the extreme shunning that the society encourages.. i've often mentioned that this seldom happens in black families.

  of course, i have no statistical evidence to back this up, but i have yet to see a family in my area practice this kind of shunning.

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  choosing life

  I think the degree to which families apply the shunning policy depends much more on the closeness of the particular family and just how cult-trained they are.

  One of the severest cases of shunning I ever saw was in a black family. The mother was divorced and her teenage son was dfd. She would not allow the other siblings living in the home to talk to their brother. He was not allowed to eat with the family. It was crazy even by jw standards.

  I'm not saying your experience has not been different. I have just seen really close families across the spectrum and those who barely qualified to be called families too.

  I wish everyone would ignore the the wts demand for shunning. I agree with Snowbird, as I could never turn my back on my child. I've been through the shunning thing with two children and refused to shun in both cases.
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  10

  "But Mom- you raised me to serve Jehovah no matter what"

  by JimmyPage in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i had an interesting experience over the weekend.

  i took a couple of my in-laws on a trip as a present.

  unfortunately they wanted to attend a meeting while they were out of town.

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  choosing life

  Been there and still living with the consequences. If only we could unteach the people that we taught.
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  25

  Frustrated - This is not going well!!

  by heybaby in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i haven't posted in a while, so i'm glad to be back.

  my husband and i got into another fruitless discussion last night.

  it actually turned out to be more of a fight than a discussion.

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  choosing life

  It is best not to confront your husband with facts he doesn't want to hear. If you love each other, just take it slow. The wt wants him to choose them over you.

  If you can just slowly fade away from meetings and service and keep the peace, things can work out. You know your husband best and what pushes him into a corner. Avoid the corners, no one likes to be pushed into one.

  If you decide to fade, remind your husband that you still love him.
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  54

  Do you think you have 'chosen sides'?

  by AK - Jeff in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in a recent online conversation with a current jw [or at least i think this to be true], i was accused of 'being on the wrong side'.. i countered with my opinion that there are thousands of 'sides' - since every religion believes itself to be the 'right side'.

  i know that i left one 'side' that is wrong - full of lies, deceptions, and false doctrines.

  but i don't consider myself to have taken any other side - that is, i believe myself to be entirely neutral in such matters - i just don't have enough centuries of life to sort out who might have the 'right side'.

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  choosing life

  It is not so much choosing sides as it is just an evolution of thinking processes. When you are younger, it is common to think in a black/white fashion. The lines between wrong and right are concrete and certain.

  Life eventually teaches you that the lines are often blurred and no one is all good or bad. Take time to just observe life as it is rather than to render judgement. There is no need to "take a side".

  Of course, the witnesses have every thing neatly sorted into good and bad and cannot suspend judgement.
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  10

  Why do Witnesses think the world is so bad? Here's another reason

  by BonaFide in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i know the fact that the publications say the world is bad, and the beginning of so many public talks.

  and the introductions in the field ministry.. but here is something i have been thinking about.. jw's are not exposed to people from all walks of life.

  growing up in the truth, most of the bro's in my hall worked in construction, cleaning, office workers, or ups.

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  choosing life

  Good observation, Bonafide. As long as the borg keeps the people lowly and oppressed, they think the world is mostly bad.

  I hated all the negativity in the talks. It made me sad and nervous. So many jws are just barely scraping by because they have no skills or education to get a better job. Of course the world is a hard place for them.

  I studied with a parent who ended up getting baptized. He had a son who was quite intelligent and at the head of his class. Always intended to attend college. He became a jw and married right after high school, getting a poor paying job in a factory.

  What a waste of a mind. I feel really bad bringing the jw teachings to them, but unfortunately I believed it back then.
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  25

  The People Up There vs. The People Down Here

  by Confession in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  do you ever detect a difference in the way people make evaluations of an organization, as compared to an individual?

  how about a difference between the way people judge one who holds an office of some sort, compared to one who doesn't?.

  it seems to me that many people have a different set of standards for, say, "the people up there" as opposed to "the people down here.".

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  choosing life

  An individual has just as much responsibility to report as the org. It is actually the individual that is closest to the abuse.

  I have only been heard of one instance of child molestation while in the jws. While working at the convention, a young child was brought into first aid because someone had molested them.

  The child was whisked away so fast, I did not see them clearly. I did inquire about the child and the elders assured me the authorities were being notified and the child was being cared for.

  It was the first day of the convention and I expected them to make an announcement that a child molester had been caught and parents should be extra cautious with their children. Nothing was announced.

  I enquired again and I was told it was an "outsider" who had abused the child and he was turned into the police. I was also told not to mention it to others, but I did discuss it with a few of those close to me.

  I never heard or saw any reports in the news, but it might not have been newsworthy. I really don't believe it was ever reported, but hushed up instead, but I can't prove it.

  When you are dealing with child molestation, you are in murky waters from the start. My personal belief is that every case should be reported by any individual that knows the situation and the child should receive the proper care. There should be zero tolerance by organizations and individuals.
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  17

  Mother's Day: Do You Send Your JW Mom a Card/Gift?

  by VIII in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  since i left the jws i have consistently sent my mom a mother's day card and / or flowers.

  depending on my mood and credit limit i will send her a gift.

  she has never asked me not to nor has she said this is a bad thing or not approved by the society.

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  choosing life

  Mother's and Father's day are beautiful times to show our parents how much we appreciated the sacrifices they made to raise us well. Anyone who has raised children knows how hard it is and all the love that is involved.

  I send both a gift on their day and also spend time and a meal with them. I treasure the time I have left to spend with them and even more so now that the borg can no longer divide us.
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  40

  What finally pushed you over the edge?

  by keyser soze in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  was there one issue or incident, final straw, so-to-speak, that made you leave once and for all?

  i know there was for me.. i had been having doubts for years, and had stopped believing it was the truth.

  but i labored on as a jw, in part because of my family, and in part because i had invested so much of myself in it.

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  choosing life

  Ever heard the talk about picking up sticks on the Sabbath? It was given by a CO and he told of an Israelite man who was so poor, that he had to go out on the Sabbath to pick up sticks to keep a fire lit to warm his family.

  Well, the man was worthy of stoning because no work was to be done on the Sabbath. Period.

  Then the CO asked if some were missing any of his talks to go to work {many worked shiftwork}. Bringing it all together, he said they were in the same position as the ones needing to keep warm.

  They all deserved death! Crazy thinking. I was out this Sunday picking sticks up out of the backyard to tidy up a bit. I told my husband Look> I am picking up sticks on the Sabbath. I guess there is no hope for me.

  One of many talks that set me packing.